It is encouraging that government is ensuring that taxi-drivers have achieved an acceptable level of literacy as well as competency in driving skills; thus our journeys will not only be accomplished safely but possibly enhanced by discussions on the riches of the English language, perhaps even extending to an appreciation of the English poets.

On profound consideration of the hapless taxi-driver’s situation I am able to offer him some consolation. Mr Edwin Poots, New Age DUP, the Minister of Culture, has expressed the opinion that observation of grammatical and syntactical rules of the English language are inconsequential as long as we understand what is being expressed.

Now if a minister of the Stormont Assembly speaks, especially the Minister of Culture on the use of our language, it is incumbent upon all to treat his thoughts with appropriate gravity. Mr Poots’ startling revelations are of compelling interest to our teachers and all who strive to ensure that written and oral expression follow defined rules, articulated by grammarians and hallowed generally by the usage of eminent authors and public speakers.

Contrary to our Minister of Culture’s opinion I believe that consistency and discipline in our language are not only desirable but necessary. I would not be too worried about a taxi-driver who used expressions like “have took”, “had went”, “done” for “did”, or even misplaced his apostrophes – that is providing he did not drive me over the hedge. But I would expect better of a Minister of Culture who shamelessly advocates the mutilation and degradation of our language, thus militating against the supremacy of English as a world language and doing a deplorable disservice to children and youth within our schools, colleges and universities.

Finally, with tender thoughts for the unfortunate Bournemouth taxi-driver, if he continues to fail his literacy test there may be a solution. Let him come to Northern Ireland and join New Age DUP. He would be well qualified to become a “researcher” for the party, a message boy for the MLAs, which might open the doors to the lofty position of Minister of Culture in the future.

- Councillor Robin Stirling

UUCP