Life's full of surprises
I wouldn't ordinarily think of myself as a vain person. I generally don't often get the chance to go all out glam. In fact I consider it a good day if I manage to slap on a bit of foundation before heading out into the world.
I am constantly in awe of the yummy mummy brigade I bump into at the school gates or parent and baby group who have make-up on, their hair brushed AND their toe nails painted.
The fact that they look well rested is beyond me. My wrinkles currently have wrinkles and I'm only a bit of wain. (Okay, I'm heading towards my mid thirties at a scary rate, but that's young, isn't it??)
I covet their sense of style, but at the same time with a baby who likes to use me as her own personal burp cloth I don't really see much of a point in trying too hard. Chances are before lunch time I'll be on my second change of clothes and will have adopted that unique sickly "Eau De Baby Puke" around me.
I'm built for comfort not for speed and I adopt the same approach with my clothes. Clean(ish) jeans and a clean (ish) top and I'm good to go. A quick squirt of perfume is my one concession to my girlishness.
Most of the time I'm happy with my lot. I'm not a high maintenance woman, but lately I have been experiencing one of the "joys" of post pregnancy life which has made me realise that underneath all my "I'm happy being a slummy mummy" bravado, is actually a vain woman screaming to get out.
My hair has started to fall out. In clumps. Each shower ends in a plughole full of shoulder length chestnut brown hair and I tend to find myself crouched over the bathroom mirror checking for bald spots.
I fear I may have to buy a wig soon. I'm considering a Tina Turner look, or a giant Afro – you know, just for something different.
I never had post pregnancy hair loss after I had my son. I therefore quite smugly felt it would pass me by this time also. How wrong I was! Everywhere I look in my house I'm likely to find long strands of hair draped on every surface – mocking me.
I am even considering comb overs. Only question is, do I go for the straight forward brush-it-all-over-the-top look or for a walnut whip effect?
It is becoming quite clear to me that there is a chance the baby could end up having more hair than me very soon. And she has a big old baldy patch round the back of her head from where it rubs on the cot sheets.
Normal
They (being the parenting experts) say it's normal, but it doesn't feel very normal to me. It feels like my very femininity is at risk and the strength of my emotional reaction to the hair dropping out of my hair in swathes has surprised me.
I have taken to finding new and wonderful ways to wear it, dry it and style it to minimise the slightly balding look. I have taken to asking my family at regular intervals to inspect my scalp and see if it looks just that little more sparse and I'm spending more time than any grown woman should in the shampoo aisle of Tesco.
It has even been suggested that I cut my hair short – but being of a certain stature and with hair so fine (even on a good day) you could sneeze through it I fear I would look a complete eejit (think Lego figures and their stick on bowl cuts…).
But I guess all women have their Achilles heel when it comes to our appearances. My paranoia about my rapid hair loss (Seriously, you might see me wielding a permanent marker around my bonce soon if it keeps up) has proven to me that I am perhaps more vain than I first thought.
It's just ironic that the hair loss has not extended beyond my head and onto my legs, eyebrows or underarms. It would save me a fortune in eyebrow waxes and shaving paraphernalia.
There is no doubt, life throws a lot of surprises at you. And while believe me my children are worth it, I look at my stretchmarked tummy, my thinning hair, my sagging everything and wonder why, oh why, men can't endure pregnancy and childbirth?
I mean it is socially acceptable for a man to go bald. And quite a few of them have enough excess body hair that losing a few strands could actually be a good thing. No one really cares if a man has a slight paunch or if he looks haggard. Haggard can be attractive in a bloke (think George Clooney, or Harrison Ford). It is certainly not a look we women want to experience.
I would even sacrifice my eight months of maternity leave to see my husband cope with the body shocks having a baby throws at you.
Then again… would I really want to listen to him moan about it?
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Weather for Ballymena
Wednesday 30 May 2012
Today
Light showers
Temperature: 12 C to 18 C
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Wind direction: South east
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